Scripture for the week:
All my enemies whisper together against me; they imagine the worst for me . . . Even my close friend, whom I trusted, he who shared my bread, has lifted up his heel against me. Psalm 41:7, 9 (NIV)
Dear Friend,
On many occasions we have experienced the pain of relationships, but some experiences have been much harder than others. The most painful times have been when it was a close friend . . . one we “trusted, who shared our bread and then lifted his heel against us.” A few years ago during a very challenging time in our lives we had friends who bailed on us. They pretended they loved us to our faces, but whispered behind our backs and left us when we needed them. It was one of those moments of real betrayal. We asked ourselves, “Who can we really trust?” Then we answered ourselves, “People just can’t be trusted. They love you to your face, but don’t fail them, disappoint them or disagree with them or they will turn their back on you so fast . . .” It was a “friends, you can’t live with ’em . . .” moment.
While all that may be true, there is something even more true – real friendships rock! For some reason we still believe in imperfect people. Call us crazy, but we keep investing in the building of relationships! We are experiencing the fullness of friends that can fail us and we can fail them, yet we still want each other. Today, even on this very day, we need our friends. We have a family member that needs prayer and we have friends that are praying. We have friends saying “What can we do?” and they mean it! We’re so grateful we haven’t given up on friends.
Have you ever had a friend let you down, disappoint you or even betray you? How do you get through broken or ailing relationships? Do you know how to remove relational shrapnel? How do you recover and enjoy friendships after moments of deep disappointment? Here are some important practices to live into relational health:
Take the time to discern
Do you have broken or ailing relationships? Are you at fault? Are you innocent of any wrongdoing? Are you unkind, judgmental or unforgiving? Be honest with yourself and God.
Take time to forgive and repent
Take the time in prayer to forgive (sometimes again and again) the person who hurt you. Ask God to give you His compassion for them. The Scripture tells us when we pray to say, “forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors.”
If you were wrong, ask God to forgive you. Ask the person you’ve wronged to forgive you. You may need a spiritual mentor or friend to help you in this process. Don’t let pride rip you off.
Take time to begin again!
Once you deal with relational brokenness it’s time to begin again. You may or may not be able to rebuild with those newly forgiven situations, but God will provide new ways to enjoy your life. Connect in a ministry project and/or a Life Group with imperfect people who love God. Look for ways to be a friend and watch friendships emerge. In the midst of life’s losses and difficulties, we pray that you will experience relationships that will go the distance.
Friends, you can’t live without ’em,
Hope you can join us this weekend during the Facebook series. This is week four and “Friends” is the subject. You won’t want to miss our surprise! Invite a friend here
Recommended Reading: Relationships 101 by Les and Leslie Parrot
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©2008 Scott & Clare Loughrige