NEITHER WILL I TELL YOU:
The Parable Stands on Its Own
This past week, I received a few love letters from my dear opponents after sharing blogs on our current milieu. =)
When you write real-life parables that name the suffering around us, you’re bound to get feedback from all ends of the spectrum: some claim I’m “too political,” while others argue I’m not taking a strong enough stand. Ah, the sweet paradox of pastoral life. My response? I listen, consider their perspective, thank them for sharing, and then keep living my conscience—attempting to model the brilliant, often unpredictable, conversational path of Jesus.
When religious leaders tried to corner Jesus with theological gotcha questions, He often responded in parables—tiny narrative bombs that exploded in people’s minds long after He walked away. And when they demanded a clear-cut stance, He sometimes just shrugged and said, “How do you see it?“ or my favorite, “Neither will I tell you.“ (Luke 20:8). Translation: Y’all aren’t ready for this conversation.
The “Neither will I tell you” response both resonates and detonates deeply. What you take from it depends on what you’re ready to understand. This week, I heard, “You need to take a stand.“ And sure, sometimes clarity is needed. But other times, a parable is enough. The truth is there for those with ears to hear—but maybe not everyone wants to hear it.
Jesus knew that forcing truth onto someone who isn’t ready for it is like trying to explain taxes to a toddler. Why do we pay them? Where does the money go? (I wish I knew, kid.) But for those open to it, the invitation to deeper self-awareness is life-changing. When the space within us is made whole, the space between us becomes healthier.
So, the next time someone demands a clear stance or you feel the urge to respond with a hot take, remember Jesus—the one who sometimes chose silence. Trust that the parable stands, and pray that those with ears to hear will genuinely hear.
HOW DO YOU SEE IT?
My other favorite question? “How do you see it?“ Rather than rushing to explain ourselves, we can invite others to share the story behind their strong beliefs. By engaging in meaningful conversation, people might begin to reflect on their own journey and, perhaps, open up to alternative perspectives.
JOURNEY TO WHOLENESS
One of the most powerful tools we use in spiritual direction to help people see how they see it and how others see it is the Enneagram Harmony Model. Not because we think personality typing is the answer to all of life’s problems (though wouldn’t that be nice?), but because it offers a way to see. The Enneagram Harmony doesn’t limit people to a type; it just helpfully labels the personality patterns they’re already in. It reveals how each of us bears the image of God—and how we take that beautiful image, crank it up to eleven, and somehow turn it into a personal stumbling block, and can find a new way of seeing and living.
People can’t see what they don’t understand. But when we recognize our own patterns—how we react, defend, withdraw, control, or micromanage everything within a 10-mile radius—we gain greater ability to make new choices in a new way. Self-awareness and other-awareness make transformation possible. And transformation makes space for grace—not just within but between us.
How do you cultivate the ability to see and listen deeply—within yourself, to others, and to God?
Coming soon:
Harmony responses in our activated encounters.
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You can join us in June for 4-days of –
“how do you see it?” with the Enneagram Harmony Model.
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Love God, Neighbor and Self . Sharpen personal and professional skills with the Enneagram here.
