Divorce Milestones

Yep, it’s a vulnerable post, but here goes.

We hit another milestone. My kids hired a photographer to take family pictures in our newfound familial configuration. I (Clare) am compelled to not only post these meaningful pictures on social media but to share a part of the meaning.

When we gave our lives in public service and sacred work decades ago, life was no longer private, and when you live through the stigma and grief of divorce, you have many on-lookers. So, here are four (I’ll spare you the long list) things I’ve experienced at a cellular level–

  • Some people supported us through life-giving words and/or silence. These dear ones respected the process, didn’t listen to, believe gossip, or pass judgment on what they could never know or fully understand. Thank God for them.
  • Others did the exact opposite and more. Father forgive them…
  • Shame, anger, guilt, deceit, and fear are the negative fixations of another’s brokenness and we will not be defined by them.
  • Macro and micro-aggressions can make you a bitter person, or you can become a wounded healer. We choose the latter.

While I could write a book on what our family has lived through in these last few years, I won’t– at least not right now.

What I will say is that I couldn’t be more proud of and blessed by Scott and my kids. They are durable, long-suffering, hard-working, compassionate and empathetic. Road Warriors-All. When they could have gone low, they went high, they could have given up but gave more, people lied, and we told the truth. “Enduring hardness as good soldiers of Christ.*” Period.

Dearest Scott, Sara, Ian, Josiah, and Libbie, you are my heroes!! You have continued to do your best with the worst. You have my heart and utmost respect! To my precious grandbabies, you will be CHAMPIONS… it’s in your DNA!!

*2 Tim 2:3-5

 

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